I miss Alex so much. It’s February break and he’s on a cruise to the Bahamas with his friends. There’s no cell service or internet down there, which means I can’t talk to him until he gets back ): It’s only been three days, but this is the first morning that he hasn’t sent me a good morning text, because he can’t! I know he would never cheat on me, but knowing he’s stuck on a boat with tons of pretty, skinny girls is a real blow to my self esteem. He’s looking for girls to hook his friends up with too, and that just bothers me a little, knowing that he’ll be looking for the prettiest girls on the boat for them. I just miss him so much and I can’t wait until he comes home.<br/>
Everything reminds me of him. He left me his sweatshirt and I wear it all day because it smells like him (: I just want him to come home.<br/>
I hate night time. All I do is sit here and think about Alex and how much I miss him. Now it’s only been four days, but it makes me think. What was I doing before I had him in my life? How could I handle this loneliness? I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out listening to love songs when all I want is to hold him but I can’t because he’s not here. I just miss him so much I don’t know what to do.<br/>
I just can’t fucking please everyone can I? Thanks for letting me fall into this one, mom. So glad everything’s my fault now. Nothing good ever comes without a price. Don’t forget that.
On another note, I’m numb to Alex’s absence now. Of course I miss him, but I don’t cry anymore if I can help it. I know I’m being dramatic but I can’t do anything here so why let it bother me. I was sure that he’d be able to text me today, but he either actually can’t or doesn’t care too. I really need him away from those girls. He better not forget about me or I’ll be fucking ripshit.
On a lighter note, I finished The Hunger Games today and I’m in love.<br/>
well, happy leap year! alex and i were going to jump into the pond like they do in the vow to celebrate, but it started raining and my feet were frozen before we hit water so we stopped. i bought a car! my first big purchase (: i can pick it up tomorrow. i also bought concert tickets to the maine! i’m so excited. just me and alex in boston (: it will be fun.
i’ve been so tired recently though. i’ve been blogging a lot, and doing homework a lot, and seeing alex a lot since he came home, and i just don’t sleep. i always wake up at least 45 minutes before my alarm even goes off and i have trouble getting to sleep. so it’s 11:09, and i am getting off of tumblr and showering and sleeping. goodnight tumblr! <3<br/>
well! it’s been two months since i’ve written on this page. nothing’s been going on really, everything’s dandy. i started to work again and i already hate it. my life is just boringggg. alex is great, school’s almost over, I’M GOING TO PROM. umm yeah, so this is why i don’t write in a diary……